Tuesday

Well dearies, there's been something going on with me for the past few weeks that's not at all rocking, and in fact is starting to really interfere with the rocking: I'm sick. A moderate health breakdown with symptoms for the past three weeks ranging from a sharp pain in my left lung, to running a fever pretty much the whole time, to the remarkable discomfort the human immune system can inflict while fighting disease. I have an impressively horrible clear cough with no other congestion or normal flu symptoms and I'm home tired and frustrated with my near total lack of energy. I've been to doctors three times in the past week, which is roughly how many times I'd been to the doctors in the preceding three years. I've had my chest X-ray'd in a linoleum room with machines that look like the machines on hospital dramas, and the films look pretty cool actually, all lungs and spine with a hint of boobies. I've also had blood drawn, and a TB test, and I'm starting week two of antibiotics. Yesterday, Doctor Three (I've been really fortunate to have found a great treat & release place in my neighborhood where all the docs are astoundingly kind) ventured the following diagnosis: "Just a virus with a really weird presentation." Which is reassuring despite use of the adjective weird, because I was really starting to wonder at how quickly we corporeal beings can go from sauntering down Seventh Avenue smiling at the end of the summer, to breaking a sweat getting off the couch to make some oatmeal. Saturday night was the first turning point. I pulled myself together and went to perform at Psychedelic Night, and despite having to sit outside on a bench feeling woozy for most of the early evening, I drank pint after pint of water and managed to sweat my way through quite a good WonderWheels mini-set. We played: Lucy In the Sky With Diamonds (as our psychedelic cover) After Last Night (UNRELEASED) Take Us to the Stars (UNRELEASED) Where Is My Robot Maid? (UNRELEASED) Eddie Come Down (MEET THE ANIMAL) I haven't been too worried about infecting innocent bystanders with my scourge as I've been on antibiotics as I mentioned, and none of the other Wheels, despite sleeping with one and sharing bottles of Jack with all three (before I started the antibiotics), have become contaminated. I was getting so down and stir-crazy and flabby-feeling just resting at home, I figured going out to soak up some positive Freddy's energy couldn't hurt, and I've been slowly feeling better ever since. Last night I was able to get a good night's sleep - I've been having to sleep propped up - and that's given me hope for the future. I still feel weak, and can't wait until the lymph nodes in my throat calm down enough so that I can do some yoga and really get this out of my system. I'm just new-agey enough to think of sickness as an opportunity for transformation, or maybe an indication that your body is trying to alert you to an emotional or metaphysical revelation. Plus I've discovered an element of guilt - maybe cultural? - like I must've done something wrong to be weak and susceptible which is pretty crazy, right? The most humbling part is that I know quite a few excellent people who've had major health traumas, and I marvel at the strength and resilience they've displayed dealing with far scarier issues than my Weirdo Virus. Feeling pretty sick for just a few weeks was really messing with my head. Not having the energy to be my usual active self brought out my inner mental patient as I had nothing I could do besides lay around, read, watch TV and obsess. Being so tired sapped all motivation and I even felt scatter-brained and forgetful... definitely not my usual self. So, remember when you're out in the world and someone's acting crabby, maybe they're not feeling well. So many people in our country are overweight and overworked and unwell. I count myself extremely fortunate that I've had a life where being knocked out for three weeks counts as the first notable health problem of the millennium. And on the other hand there's been a bit of a watched pot phenomenon in that while I've been too wiped to do as much promotion etc. as usual for our music, some packages and things I sent out early in the summer have made their way back to me with some happy results. More on that later in the week.

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